My dearest, let’s embark on a slurping journey into the world of intoxication. In the name of research I’ve spent weeks exploring the experiential spectrum of getting drunk on Aperol, cheap champagne, beer, wine, and Cult Shaker Sport. On this quest I’ve evaluated and scored these beverages on five formidable features (Danceability, Hygge Quotient, Making it Home, Love Charm and Clear Speech), to unveil the secrets they satisfy, so you know what to slurp, and when.
Disclaimer: All beverages were sipped, slurped and savored in Aarhus.
Cheap champagne (1 bottle)
Danceability
- 4/5 – Cheap champagne inspires your inner proletariat for revolt and spontaneous dance-offs, transforming your party into a sizzling dance floor.
Hygge Quotient
- 2/5 – Though cheap champagne may not ooze the same cozy vibes as other drinks, this budget-friendly fizz brings forth a few extra chuckles and associative stories.
Making it Home
- 2/5 – Cheap champagne is not recommended for a midnight bike ride. It might add a touch of celebration to your nocturnal adventure, but this also makes it hard to prioritize your journey’s safety.
Love Charm
- 4/5 – Cheap champagne’s bubbly nature sets the stage for unforgettable kisses. The bubbles will float your lips closer.
Clear Speech
- 5/5 – If anything, your speech is perfected whilst spirited away on bubbles. Your long lost French nobility is sure to resurface.
Extra exposé: Cheap champagne’s celebratory nature can add a touch of needed excitement to a midnight polar plunge.
- Should this be used in a drinking game? Yes
- Could this be the drink of your costume party? Yes
- Is this drink correlated with regrettable decisions? No
Cult Shaker Sport (13 cans)
Danceability
- 5/5 – Cult Shaker Sport holds both energy-boosting properties and dance-inducing bubbles. It is an unstoppable drink for the dance floor.
Hygge Quotient
- 2/5 – The energy this drink injects allows for a dynamic and spirited excited vibe, amplifying the chances of experiencing uncontrollable laughter. But Danish hygge? Maybe just go raving.
Making it Home
- 5/5 – The energizing drinks provides the perfect fuel for an exhilarating midnight bike ride. The Sport properties keeps you going long into the night. Beware, this also means you may not sleep.
Love Charm
- 4/5 – Cult fuels confidence as well as a sense of adventure. This can foster playful moments, rolling on the floor and spontaneous kissing.
Clear Speech
- 2/5 – Being both speedy and drunk does not help your speech. Your tongue is bound to twist and turn as it gallops over the hills at 1000 km/h.
Extra exposé: You’ll be able to reach the top floor of Øst Fra Paradis with this drink.
- Should this be used in a drinking game? Yes
- Could this be the drink of your costume party? No
- Is this drink correlated with regrettable decisions? Yes
Beer (Lost count …)
Danceability
- 3/5 – While beer certainly makes you more inclined to bust a move, the accidental additional mixers might affect coordination, resulting in dangerous dance moves.
Hygge Quotient
- 4/5 – Beer-based concoctions embrace the Danish spirit of hygge, fostering togetherness that echoes through the night.
Making it Home
- 4/5 – Beer’s refreshing nature keeps you hydrated and ready for a night of powerful pedaling. Beware of glass on the roads.
Love Charm
- 3/5 – Beer may not be the most traditionally seductive choice, but it’s relaxed and sociable nature creates comfort conducive to cuddling up.
Clear Speech
- 3/5 – Your voice might sing and hiccup, but most messages go through as the volume knob on your voice gets turned up a few notches, adding extra “clarity” to your conversations.
Extra exposé: As we’re nearing next year’s Olympics, it’s good to know that beer is the unofficial international OL drink. Use it today, in your local beer olympics (Beer pong, flip cup, or cornhole are all valid disciplines).
- Should this be used in a drinking game? Yes
- Could this be the drink of your costume party? No
- Is this drink correlated with regrettable decisions? Yes
Wine (1 bottle)
Danceability
- 2/5 – Wine lends itself to another ambiance, making it less dance-friendly. Spontaneous interpretive dance sessions are not entirely off the table – it might even happen on the table.
Hygge Quotient
- 3/5 – With its sophisticated allure, it may not be the epitome of hygge, but it can still add a touch of elegance to intimate gatherings. Warmth and red cheeks are poignantly provided.
Making it Home
- 1/5 – Wine’s elegance and delicate flavors are not an appropriate choice for a Viking ship sailing home. Much better savored at a lover’s that has a safe shore and a bed for you.
Love Charm
- Wine: 5/5 – Wine’s associations … yes, we all know they’re good. Its smoothness and depth can enhance intimate conversations and ignite the desire for stolen kisses.
Clear Speech
- 4/5 – Your words may feel like they’re tossed around in a rose-tinted glass; lively words swirling and twirling with a touch of charm and uninhibited honesty.
Extra exposé: Rent the basement of Netto and arrange a winetasting. It’s not only reserved for the rich.
- Should this be used in a drinking game? No
- Could this be the drink of your costume party? No
- Is this drink correlated with regrettable decisions? No
Aperol (4 glasses)
Danceability
- 3/5 – Sipping Aperol sends most people swaying with moves that may surprise even the most seasoned dancers.
Hygge Quotient
- 3/5 – Aperol’s light tint may not yell hygge, but the vibrant orange elixir will induce something else: a joyful disposition and a perfect tone for a night of merriment.
Making it Home
- 3/5 – Aperol’s refreshing qualities make it a suitable choice for a leisurely ride through the streets of Aarhus. Sip your way into your late night city’s ambiance.
Love Charm
- 4/5 – This long drink effortlessly kindles the orange flames of fresh passion! It is a concoction with uncanny abilities to cultivate kisses.
Clear Speech
- 3/5 – With each sip, your long-lost Italian charm yearns to rise to the surface, revealing its timeless splendor. What actually comes to the surface is an intricate line of hand signs.
Extra exposé: While displaying an intense color, this drink is still amazingly easy to get off your clothes.
- Should this be used in a drinking game? No
- Could this be the drink of your costume party? Yes
- Is this drink correlated with regrettable decisions? No
As our whimsical exploration comes to an end, I want you to remember … SKÅÅÅÅÅL!